I’m going to give you a little insight into my life.
Freckles.. my eldest is the firecracker in my life. Diagnosed at 3 with ADHD and then the following year with high functioning autism< its have never been a dull moment.
I knew early on, i remember msging my friend who has a son already with diagnosis when he was about 18months old asking her if the traits i saw in my son were similar to hers… and she agreed it sounded like he had some classic quirks. Freckles paternal father Has ADHD and autism present within his family so i knew it was something to be on the look out for from the get go… there was no denying though when i signed him up to daycare at roughly 16months and the moved him in with the 2-3yr olds as he was “too fast” for his age group, and even gave the older toddlers a run for their money. He was and still is a big boy, hitting the 97th percentile for height and weight since i can remember.. He looks like an average 7yr old today at only 5.
So imagine seeing a boy who looks in prep or grade 1, acting like a 3yr old out in public. The looks i get sometimes are unbelievable. Yeah he seems naughty, yelling at me or biting out of frustration.. or climbing over everything and knocking others down on his way through… He doesn’t mean it.. he is actually a beautifully kind boy.. he just doesn’t stop to think.
Impulsive is one of the biggest traits we encounter. He has no fear of danger, jumping into the deep end of pools continuously ( even after finding out he cant swim in that depth) jumping off my shed roof at 4yrs old, and seeing something of interest and bolting in the direction no matter where or who he is with. I have scars on my body from bites and bruises from when he melts down.
But he makes me laugh, he makes me smile and he is oh so intelligent and interesting!!
Recently I have made a decision to medicate. Now this is a huge step for me!!
I’m a naturalist, a hippy if you will.. and i hated, even despised the thought of medications.
I have done 2years of solid therapy and early intervention, thats seeing one therapist a week! Divided between speech, behavioural psych and Occupational therapist. I did an online course with Gen Jerb to learn more about occupational therapy and more about how my sons mind works. I have tried diets, natural therapies, Herbal blends, Fish oils, vitamins, everything within my means, and nothing really made a difference.
In discussion with his therapists we were under agreement that his mind was just going too fast to soak in any of our techniques, that he was too flippant and hyperactive to stop and learn what was needed, and i became scared of what his school experience may be like.
He has already began to experience bullying for the type of personality he is, and he is no longer completely innocent to what it means and its taking a toll of the kind heart he has underneath. I thought ok, we will trial it, a few weeks at the end of his kinder term to see how he goes in a learning type setting, in preparation for his first year at school next year.
If i see anything negative we stop. If there was no difference we stop. If it isn’t helping we stop.. of course right.
its only a few weeks.
Well.. its one week in.. and already I’m beginning to see this whole new child. He still has his funny jokes, and energy to ride his bike for ages. He still has his funny quirks’, but he seems a bit softer. He is attending his tasks. Yesterday he sat at his kinder drawing for 45min.. he has NEVER done that for so long!! He was learning about paints and he was proud.. he was PROUD of himself!! My heart sank and i knew that this is the right path.
There is so much stigma on medicating, and i agree there is alot of children out there that are over medicated, or its not monitored properly. Each case should be looked at individually and you need to make the choice that suits you and your child.
The past few days i have seen less violent outbursts towards his siblings, I have seen him respond to me asking him to do something with less hassle, I have seen him more content and playing.
He still has all his ASD qualities, and some are even more pronounced now that his hyperactivity isn’t masking them. He is still essentially HIMSELF and that was the biggest thing for me.
It still scares me, and I’m still worried, but i feel like each day i see him become happier with what he is achieving i can’t deny it.
Being the mother of a special needs child is hard. Doing it on my own, as a single mother is hard. Having younger siblings to also care for is hard.
I question how i handle things every day. Some people understand, some people don’t. Some people mean well and offer advice or “fixes” and sometimes i just want to tell those people to shut up.
I know they love me, and i love them for wanting to help, hence why i will always take their words with a grain of salt. Because deep down unless you’ve lived with a special needs child, or cared for someone like this then you truly have no idea. And even then you probably still don’t fully grasp my situation because the beauty of autism means it’s so incredible vast and different. So what works for me, or how i feel or cope, can be completely polar opposite to how you, or her, or he deals with a child of the same diagnosis.
So i guess in closing.. This is 1/3 of my life.. One part of me, and one part of him. And i just know there are so many others out there that deal with the same, and more.
To those parents/careers’ i send out my love and kinship too. Remember to be kind to yourself, breath in, and take each moment as it comes xx
Love, Children and Wine 